I am not a Steve Harvey fan. Chris Rock’s my go to guy for jokes. I do not wake-up yearning to hear what Steve is pushing. My preference is NPR and Neil Boortz in the AM. I have not purchased his new book, Steve Harvey at Amazon. Decided to get Tavis’s (Black America’s stepchild) new book instead, Tavis Smiley Accountable. He’s talking about something that sustains my interest and reminds me to make better decisions these days: Accountability. No, I will not read Steve’s book. What I have done is read various editorials to gain his perspective of what I have entitled, The Pathetic, but Artful Sham. Besides, he does not need my $16. He will surely get plenty of folk’s money now that the Queen of Making Millionaires has co-signed on his triple divorce opinions, generalizations, and facts. All I need is one episode on Oprah!Men have been masters of pretending to be something that they are not. Some claim to be wealthy businessmen others profess to be great fathers. However, some men in this atrocious dating climate have decided to be less than what they really are so that they will not be expected to commit. Believe that, ladies! There are men out there who are genuinely chivalrous, caring, romantic, communicative, affectionate, giving, and all the wonderful characteristics of a ‘good man’ – but he has artfully shammed women into ‘accepting’ that he is an asshole.
A brotha told me a few days ago that he has not been who his mother raised him to be with women because if he does he will be flooded with desperate attempts to marry him off or women will arrive with an overnight bag when the rendezvous is suppose to be a booty call, nothing more. I was confused at first, but it began to make sense. This man has decided to be something he is not so that women will not get attached. He has altered his personality so that he can maintain his singlehood without commitment pressure. He has been living outside of his authentic self to deflect a woman’s love. Even with the, ‘I am not interested in a relationship at this point in my life’ disclaimer; he has still found it necessary to hoodwink women into believing that he is a jerk.
Guess what?
His efforts are a waste of time. The women he has shammed remain head over hills.
What is a man to do?
Men and women are consciously removed from their authenticity (true selves). This leaving all of us who are still searching for Mr./Mrs. Right in an abyss of shameful falsehood. Women carrying on like men or not facing reality (he just banging you) - and men doing the normal: Evading commitment like little boys. Everybody purposefully faking, no one living in their purpose.
I gather from my research that Steve Harvey’s book covers my commentary. I accept checks.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/03/23/o.steve.harvey.love.advice/index.html
http://advice.eharmony.com/article/steve-harvey-act-like-a-lady-think-like-a-man.html
Written by The Shadow.
Reader Response:
ReplyDeleteI'm not buying that. If your friend is so chivalrous, caring, communicativer, etc. why does he treat women with such disrespect? Why can't he be a man and be honest about his intentions and then only participate in those physical activities with those women that can accept that and are on the same page? Don't think for too long, I'll tell you why, because men can't handle when women are emotionally unattached from them. The reason he continues to deal with these women is because he likes the 'perks' of an emotonally vested woman. I think most women would agree that certain behavior is reserved for a man you are emotionally attached to. The sex is better (she'll bring the freak out for that one that she cares about), your interaction is better (she'll care enough to ask how your day was), if you're dating20a woman that is emotionally vested in you, she'll even pick up the check. However, the woman that is strictly using you to fulfill her physical needs could care less when the last time you had a home cooked meal. She is more reserved in bed and will only let down her guard enough to fulfill her own need for an orgasm, she is not concerned with what it takes for you to achieve one. And, she certainly is not going to pick up a check, if she even decides to go out with you at all.
Men can't handle women like this. I've been her before and ladies, let me tell you, it's a sad situation to see a man relegated to the little boys they are when this happens. Just try sleeping with a man and the moment after you reached your orgasm, get up and let him know he's welcome to shower before he leaves. He's confused and dazed and while he's showering (if he had enough nerve to do that) he's trying to figure out how you switched up just that quick. He will soon flood you with phone calls and desperate attempts to win you over.
With respect to Steve Harvey's book, a friend said he wishes Steve would stop 'dry snitching', in other words stop exposing all the secrets. Thank you Steve! I appreciate it because you are right about one thing, Mr. Payne, men are master deceivers. Women need to stop listening to what they say and look at their actions. 20Actions always speak louder than words.
And, to your friend who is such a good man: stop screwing women who you know want more than you. Before you know it you won't just be pretending to be an asshole, you'll really be one.
-MC
Muata responds to MC:
ReplyDeleteActually, for me the emotionalism is unattractive. I prefer for the emotion to be shared with someone else. Cry to ya girlfriend. I don't have the energy to deal with it especially if she is not the one I want to invest myself into.
I am not sure where you been but what you described in the second paragraph is IDEAL for many brothas. I would gladly leave if I were not invested. That would eliminate so much stress/pressure.
We all lie, and we all pay attention when we are wanting something. Women know when a man is just banging her. She just too punk and caught too much in her pathetic emotions to flee.
I told a friend a few days ago that it is not the responsibility of the man to stop screwing a woman when he discovers she wants more. Since the woman wants more she should STOP screwing the man. Women want men to make the decision for them. Also, what damn sex driven man is going to stop banging just because the woman is wanting more? Think about that. He is in it to get a nut. I say to the women get the h*ll out of the situation if you want a man to marry/commit. Stop opening ya legs if ya can't deal with the consequences because in the end a man will be moving to the next pretty soon if he ain't ready to settle down with one woman.
In this dating climate the man has his choice. He is in the position to wait. Chill. F*ck when he wants. Who he wants. Not, what I prefer - but this is the way it is. I betcha u all my dimes that the brotha will stop with this behavior when women tie that p*ssy up with vice grips! Women need to take some damn responsibility, and stop whining!
-The Shadow
Reader Response:
ReplyDeleteI would say you're due a check. LOL I figured the same thing when I heard about the book. I see no motivation to read it, when there are so many more "real" subjects I can get into.
-YJ
Reader Response:
ReplyDeleteI saw the episode on Oprah and thought the women sounded ridiculous. I hate to say it but alot of the black women seemed like they had attitude problems and it amazed me how a woman who is overweight can have such a long list of what she expects in a man including a certain physical appearance. The fact is, though, that alot of women want to get married and find Mr. Right and there is a market out there for someone to provide all of the "secrets" and "tricks" to finding him. The thing that I wish someone would just say to them is that you just need to be yourself, no games. When it is the right person, everything falls into place with minimal effort. I remember reading books like that in my early twenties instructing when to call and when not to call, etc. I have never had to play those types of games with my husband. It either is or isn't. I can tell Steve came close on several occasions to really saying what was on his mind, but it would have turned the women against him especially when he didn't call out the overweight woman with the list that also included "millionaire."
-PD
Reader Response:
ReplyDeleteI LOVE IT!!! ( Your commentary that is)
I haven't purchased his book either, BUT several of my friends said to me "You gotta get his boo k" and at first I agreed and stated that I would, however on Saturday night after hearing this for the 50th time, my reply was perhaps I'll read yours! ( I could save my money)
Ok so peep this... This past Friday I met a guy. Very nice, outgoing and we had conversation that touched on several topics which had us both calling one another through-out the weekend and chatting. Finally on Sunday we had dinner at his place while catching Tiger. Ok so during our conversation, he proceeds to tell me that he's been married twice, states that many reasons for the double divorce are because of him, how he couldn't communicate during the first marriage and the second was similar. Ok so I'm sitting here saying to myself, he's communicating with me, sharing some deep thoughts... what was the problem in the marriage. He then went on to say to me, each time he takes a sista out and they have 2-4 dates, the next thing she's talking about is marriage and kids. He's not trying to hear that right now, he just wants to meet a nice friend, hang out, travel, do dinner, chill, sex her ( he didn't say that, but I know that's part of it) and not have her wanting a serious commitment... I'm taking this all in and wondering.. what tha hell.
Your commentary below shed the light for me...
-SR