Saturday, March 2, 2013

Anonymously One with Trash





Sunday, February 24, 2013 marked two years of official unemployment. That’s unemployment outside of my skillset. 

I have definitely worked over the past 24 months. On several occasions, I was reminded of how much of a metro sexual softy that I am. Many of my employment assignments were manual in labor. Manual in labor…I like that! 


Someone asked me a few weeks ago, “Do you really look for a job every single day?” I remain puzzled by her question…of course I search for employment every day…employment that matches my extensive education and training! What was I supposed to do with my news media overload mornings, occasional boring afternoons, and lonesome evenings of Two and a Half Men reruns - skipping a day to relax my overactive brain…rest to avoid depressing frustration? No, I got up each and every morning with job on my mind. Find a job, I mean! 


Inconsequently, I must admit that the search has taken a toll on my medication induced enthusiastic spirit and the job pursuit has zapped all the professional self-esteem I had prior to my membership in the Rat Race. Thankfully, my peculiar self-confidence has not taken a defeated hit. I still do believe that I am a damn good catch with the unemployment tag written all over my face…I think. But, I have not had a date or anyone to express further interest in me after I disclose that I am Seeking Employment. Not sure if that fact has adjusted my Chi…my swag? Nope…it has not.   


My spirit –the life-force- within me has resembled a tattered work bag. It is somewhat still useful, and the only reason I hold onto the ‘bag’ is because the bag is all I have…



It is a bag that has somewhat defined me. I can admit it now…The Peace Corps, the YMCA, AmeriCorps, and Goodwill Industries have been the Epitome of my Existence. I have been identified from my human service contribution…from attempting to be unique. Unique as in, I am one of a not too many African American men working in the capacity of domestic and international service. But, that life appears to be over – and I am perfectly okay with that. SO okay with that! 


My soul is all that I have remaining besides my children. They in fact should be enough. Although, having pride in knowing that I have children and believing that I am a decent father does not pay the financial responsibilities that I have lingering. 


Lingering is a good word to describe my emotional status. I am just here…lingering on, not leaning on. I definitely don’t lean on the everlasting hand of Jesus! Lingering for me is identified as staying in range…in range of pinpointing and securing success. 


With humility, I do not need God or a Jesus for that. God’s job is complete. It is My Time to be what a Divine Force has secondarily sanctioned Me to Be: 


Free from managerial and directorship responsibility. I have NO desire to manage, lead, or direct. None whatsoever! All I want to do is be anonymously one with trash pickup. Trash does not chatter excessively, repulsively whine, lie or mislead to acquire status, call-out because of monthly cramps, deliberately backstab, or sexually harass females with intoxicating sex appeal. 


I prefer Trash…


The Shadow from the Shadow Series