Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Bitter but Sweet Growth

Dear God's Beauty,

You made the best choice...I really hate to admit that. Hate is such a powerful word - but hate is necessary for some to experience so that he/she will feel how hate ends up as the reality of one's situation.

This predicament has produced two truths that I am somewhat happy about. Inconsequently, truth can be a painful reality. In our case, there are two realities that bring forth an emotionally complicated elation. Unfortunately, my Beauty, this reality is unwanted.

Reality Number One

You have proven to me - and I dance with jubilation because of the proof - that you are the type of woman I want. You are of upper echelon femininity. Like a fine cigar marinating in the fields of Honduras. You are a woman! The tenacity you project. The energy that you exude. Every inch of you – I am sure – is of top self quality. Your industry is fitting of you…that’s if you are only requested to provide the best – and you do that in every way possible. So enticing like a Gran Habano. So absorbing like Paruyr Sevak (40 year old Armenian cognac / $2,445 per bottle). You need no dilution:


Reality Number Two

I have proven to myself that I am changing without evading. Leaving the sad and pathetic bosom of narcissistic deceit. Damn - it has been too long on that pothole plagued road! I could have easily lied and lied with this: "No, Beautiful, the 2yr old's reservoir of life form and I do not experience any dramatics. It is all good! Furthermore, there are not any present concerns that will affect you and I in getting to know each other romantically." Without pride, I have used that line before…without the 2yr old part (he was not in my photo of evolution yet) - and I have desperately used it to get a pleasurable feeling...that in fact lasts no more than 8 seconds. All that hardship men cause for a brief tingle…that feeling is not worthy of ancestral respect. Look at your vintage past.
God’s Beauty, you could have easily ignored the possible soulfully draining trauma and allowed us to forge a relationship...as I would have passionately pushed, chased, and courted you! This time the erectness - standing at humble attention - would have been motivated by the desire to settle. Settle down, not sacrifice.

Consequently, in the end we would have began something that we could not have finished. Or, we would have been too emotionally spent and invested to gracefully end what we started (a friendship-leading-to-relationship). Yeah, it would have been done right this time. My lust for your treasure would have been tamed so that we could unleash in and with love at a much later date. I am that confident because I would have been close to perfection for you!

You have given me what I needed and deserved.

REJECTION

This time the affects of the rejection started out dark and gloomy - but as I sit/sat here in the Target’s Starbucks pressing these small BlackBerry icons so that I could share this honest expression, I noticed/I am noticing that the Sun is shining and beaming on my back.

PS. By any chance do you have any


The Shadow is appreciating YOU!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


Two Paths, Leaving Atlanta

Atlanta is the type of city that will make the Man or ruin the Man.

Path One

He can become so negatively engrossed with the 'sites' that a lost of focus and drive to be the best man he can be will quickly diminished.
The tempting eye candy is sexually enticing. The luscious targets are beautiful. Intelligent. Boldly aggressive. And, on too many occasions too easy. Too easy to exploit. Too easy to mislead. Too easy to rip off. Too easy to ‘pluck’. The plucking comes so regularly that it is no longer a conquering challenge for the King of the Jungle.
Atlanta is that jungle! The plucking can be slyly stolen from a municipal court judge, a customer service rep, a high-powered attorney, a Body Tap stripper, a bored homemaker, a corporate executive, or a Julia the nurse. Does not matter in The A. All of the 'pickings' are readily available! All the disguised Noble Wolf has to do is play the part. Pretend. Lie. Convince. Be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Ironically, the women prefer the
Path Two

He can evolve here. He can basically 'come into himself'. Most importantly, the persistent chasing, lawful stalking, and lustful preying will quickly become circular routine.

When this happens –typically unbeknownst to him- he moves towards a wholeness that really cannot be explained. It is an unusual mystery. Some refer to as maturation. Some say it is exhaustion. I just know that he settles. Settles down. Then he does everything within in his newly acquired power to avoid conflict with female, with job, and thankfully with his life. Additionally, at times he will purposely be elusive. He respectfully hides and literally runs from sexual encounters – preferring meaningful communication with the conservative woman
This is necessary to remain Anew. The lying stops. The bullshitting stops. He a man now! The Man has left Atlanta in mind. He has left The ATL without the overplayed hype that attracted him to the city: The Mecca, The 12-to-1 female to male ratio, and The Professional Opportunity. The latter is a misnomer…there are no jobs down here!

At the End of the Path

He becomes what God intended
A Man, and with that He becomes a Movement, a Force…He is Better

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1mvXej61aU

The Shadow

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Life Terminated and Forfeited

I saw a kid holding an unrecognizable sign from distance. As I got closer I became intrigued by the picture and wording. So, I stopped my vehicle. Initially, I exited to get a good look at the image. After discovering what was in my FACE - I snapped a picture with my life line, my BlackBerry. With prideful excitement the father of the young fella said, "Son, turn around so he can get a full view of the sign:
I have held onto "son" for a few days. I have held onto the scene: a father and son vehemently campaigning against what the father believes is a moral atrocity, Abortion. I have held onto the astonishing power generated by the signs. So graphic! I have held onto to the statistics that the father spouted off AT me and other passer-bys as we wondered with amazement two blocks from politically red Georgia’s state capitol.

It would have been easy for me to blast the parents (wifey was with hubby) – but I stood there trying to redefine where I stand with abortion. Then suddenly, I was reminded of poor decision making. Decision making that's rooted in fear, embarrassment, regret, and an outright non-caring and disregard for life.

Life…isn’t it a choice?

We choose to live it...we choose to destroy it. Even the omnipresent character of the bible, God, requested that life be destroyed.

According, to Senator Rick Santorum – with his Christian zealously pro-life disposition believes that

When horrific incidents occur like this (link below) the black community may want to talk about abortion as a ‘choice conversation’ piece instead of taking issue with the Senator.
http://www.freep.com/article/20110119/NEWS07/110119081/Pennsylvania-abortion-doctor-accused-of-killing-babies-with-scissors

One thing I have never understood:

Why is there a heavy emphasis on 'the choice' after the baby has been formed as a living being; and not when the baby is about to be conceived? Isn’t there a brief moment of reality when Penis is about to enter Vagina? Realities that produce: STD’s, Baby Momma/Baby Daddy drama, and unwanted pregnancy. Pregnancies that are terminated…because of that hidden, and now newly valued Choice.

Some choices require us to live life in reverse. We are constantly looking back and trying to terminate what we created. A bad marriage, a bad living environment, and a bad job are only a few of the bad situations that we crochet.

We ALL have to knit more responsibility so that our lives can be guided while in Drive. Including the man, woman, and children that were flanked on a downtown Atlanta side walk. They have to be accountable for the messages that they are boldly projecting.

If we don’t think before acting…sexually, we will continue to erase life, distort life, and/or high-jack the lives of God's creation:
*That guy looks like The Shadow…not me*
Isn't it interesting that our adherences to God’s so called commandments are forfeited when we have 'a choice'? We have to stop living our lives with the Idea of Choice – then the Seeking of Forgiveness later. If there were no Choice perhaps we would not make so many unwarranted mistakes. Within the Hebrew bible there are not many choices that the biblical characters have/had at their convenient disposal…thus the reason the Hebrew bible is not utilized as The Law.

Disclaimer:

This was written without judgment. This was written with guilt. This was written as an attempt to remove the taboo discussion status from abortion. Typically, abortion is one of several topics that the black community -with the pathetic encouragement of the black church- AVOIDS.

The Shadow