I am a Black Man...My Weekend was my Reminder

Extremely interesting weekend...frustrating too. I lost my cool. Usually, I am able to ignore pathetic ignorance, shocking stupidity, overbearing arrogance, and ridiculous stereotypical assumptions. 

But, I had enough when a white woman immediately reached for her purse when I approached the area where she was seated. I was simply looking out a window at Panera Bread searching for my brunch date. She was late! Interestingly, the white female did not secure her purse when a male yuppie stepped near her. He obviously was looking and waiting for his date too. I discovered that when he began to get excited like a little girl who was preparing for her first date when his partner arrived. Their embrace was one that I soon had with my female companion…I must say that the expression of male on male love witnessed appeared to be genuine. Completely different from my next brush with insult.

Like I typically do on Saturday morning, I was headed for a walk. On my right was an elderly Indian woman. As I approached at a good distance from her to my left, the frail woman remarkably became a race walker. She darted for her belongings which were sitting on the side walk directly in path. Initially, I was thrown-off by her sudden JR talent. 

 John Riggins

Then I got a clue…she apparently wanted to secure her Bag Lady bags. As if I wanted some roach invested clothing hampers. I stopped…looked at her as she hovered over her cheap belongings then I exclaimed, “Look lady. I don’t care about your damn bags. You have not one item I want. And, you and your light skin people best stop treating me like an Untouchable. Like a Dalit. Get a damn clue.” 

 

*Indian governments have been violently brutal to the darker people of their culture. 

Sticking together is usually the last alternative for African Americans and Africans. Over the years, I have found it difficult to detect collective unity among black people like I have witnessed in the Toco Hills area of Decatur, Georgia. There the Jewish population is abundantly predominant – and their power is quite persuasive. Well, it has been with the Kroger Company. A few weeks ago, a coalition of Jewish men and women who happen to be Kroger customers lobbied and pressured the Kroger corporate office and store manager at the Toco Hill’s location to stop running an audio announcement that was repeatedly played in the store. The brief pork sale commercial was history within four days. Sadly - the slave, 1960’s discrimination, and Jim Crow historical accounts have plagued black people so much that we have issues with greeting each other. I was being friendly –I usually wear my goofy elation on my shoulder and my joy is always accompanied by a bleached teeth smile- unfortunately my happy ‘Hello’ was not received by the beautiful black female that I held a door for and spoke to Sunday morning: “Hello. How are you? What a pretty day!” She glared at me and snipingly asked, “Dang, why are you so happy?” No, thank you. No salutation in return. But, she was dressed for church…Typical Black Female Christian in Atlanta: Mad, High & Mighty, and Single.

Speaking of ‘typical’, I decided to go down to the pool that I clean every other day. 

Surprisingly, the pool was full of children. It was melting pot of kids. African Americans, Caucasians, Latinos, and Indians. The parents were either in the pool or sitting in the lounge chairs…except for a couple Indian moms. These two precipitously petrified mommas were in my chlorinated water fully clothed. How many times do I have to tell them, “No street clothes permitted in pool”? Damn! I did not say a word. They did not give me a chance to. They hurried their children out of the pool as I entered the pool that I maintain! A mass exodus…because a black man got in the pool. The white momma stayed. She’s intrigued by my big feet…

*Indians need to understand they are three steps from Negroid. 

Lastly, another lily – and significantly overweight white female offended me. I was definitely in line. Yes I was! Or, I became invisible. She looked right through me as if I were a non-human. As if I did not matter. I was of no consequence to her. A void. As if I were an

Understanding that I am Somebody…what hurt me the most was the way my church-going sista ignored me with obvious contempt. As if I were a

*A black person or nigger who looks particularly sneaky.

And, believe me all my weekend run-ins were terribly unsettlingly.Thankfully, I was finally treated like a Black Man by a loving Black Woman who looks like this Beauty:

 

Kelis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8D9xCBcfzw  
 

The Shadow

Mothers Raise Daughters and Love Sons

After all these years I am convinced that this statement is true.

Mothers are forever raising their girls to be good girls. We know what comes with that: appropriate mannerism, comforting tendencies, unrelenting compassion, respectful language, and longwinded patience. Someone (a female) is probably thinking, ‘That’s the way I was raised…but I do not see that type of rearing today.’

To be honest, I rarely interface with teen and 20-something females with the above personality traits. I guess I hang out at the wrong coffee shops, the wrong Target, the wrong grocery store, and/or the wrong bookstore. And, I know for a fact that they are not at the mega churches.

What I see regularly are wandering spirits. Unsecure and insecure souls! I see neglected-daddy girls searching for a place within their womanhood. Unfortunately, in the search they often times latch onto the likes of women who display their natural femminity via their superficial sexuality.

Why? Because mommas have failed to love Avis, Beverly, Chantel, and/or Danielle. Really love them like they love Anthony, Bobby, Chad, and/or Doug.
In the complex effort to assure they grow-up to be respectable women, moms neglect to create an adoring relationship with daughter.

Why? Because momma was told by her mother and grandmother that, ‘You have to be a lady. You better not get pregnant, you better keep your legs closed and you better not have sex!’

Certainly, there is nothing out of order with keeping the legs crossed to prevent causal sexual intercourse and pre-marital pregnancies. But, where was/is the LOVE in mama’s mandate? Why was/is there an unloving and threatening demand that typically results in momma-daughter contention?
Could it be because momma regarded her girl as an ‘item’ to prepare, repair or fix most likely for a rottenly loved boy; not a well-balanced man?

When we prepare/fix something we don’t think to love what needs repairing. We just focus on the fixing. The repairing. After the item is in working condition we leave it…we leave it in place until we are ready to use the item again.

There is no LOVE in what we believe to be in need of FIXING.

We need to stop raising our daughters to be someone’s Utility of Perfection.

We need to love on our girls like we love on our boys. However, in this love that’s desperately needed it is my hope and prayer that we do not implement what we have with our boys, Coddling.

Let’s eradicate the raising of Hope and the spoiling of

Kanyes

Let’s replace both -raising and spoiling- with Teaching and Nurturing, and Teach to be citizens of the world

C.D. Glin served in South Africa from 1997-1999 and currently, is the Director of the Office of Intergovernmental Affairs and Partnerships with the Peace Corps

and Nurture to be

The Shadow

Bitter but Sweet Growth

Dear God's Beauty,

You made the best choice...I really hate to admit that. Hate is such a powerful word - but hate is necessary for some to experience so that he/she will feel how hate ends up as the reality of one's situation.

This predicament has produced two truths that I am somewhat happy about. Inconsequently, truth can be a painful reality. In our case, there are two realities that bring forth an emotionally complicated elation. Unfortunately, my Beauty, this reality is unwanted.

Reality Number One

You have proven to me - and I dance with jubilation because of the proof - that you are the type of woman I want. You are of upper echelon femininity. Like a fine cigar marinating in the fields of Honduras. You are a woman! The tenacity you project. The energy that you exude. Every inch of you – I am sure – is of top self quality. Your industry is fitting of you…that’s if you are only requested to provide the best – and you do that in every way possible. So enticing like a Gran Habano. So absorbing like Paruyr Sevak (40 year old Armenian cognac / $2,445 per bottle). You need no dilution:

Reality Number Two

I have proven to myself that I am changing without evading. Leaving the sad and pathetic bosom of narcissistic deceit. Damn - it has been too long on that pothole plagued road! I could have easily lied and lied with this: "No, Beautiful, the 2yr old's reservoir of life form and I do not experience any dramatics. It is all good! Furthermore, there are not any present concerns that will affect you and I in getting to know each other romantically." Without pride, I have used that line before…without the 2yr old part (he was not in my photo of evolution yet) - and I have desperately used it to get a pleasurable feeling...that in fact lasts no more than 8 seconds. All that hardship men cause for a brief tingle…that feeling is not worthy of ancestral respect. Look at your vintage past.

God’s Beauty, you could have easily ignored the possible soulfully draining trauma and allowed us to forge a relationship...as I would have passionately pushed, chased, and courted you! This time the erectness - standing at humble attention - would have been motivated by the desire to settle. Settle down, not sacrifice.

Consequently, in the end we would have began something that we could not have finished. Or, we would have been too emotionally spent and invested to gracefully end what we started (a friendship-leading-to-relationship). Yeah, it would have been done right this time. My lust for your treasure would have been tamed so that we could unleash in and with love at a much later date. I am that confident because I would have been close to perfection for you!

You have given me what I needed and deserved.

REJECTION

This time the affects of the rejection started out dark and gloomy - but as I sit/sat here in the Target’s Starbucks pressing these small BlackBerry icons so that I could share this honest expression, I noticed/I am noticing that the Sun is shining and beaming on my back.

PS. By any chance do you have any

The Shadow is appreciating YOU!

Two Paths, Leaving Atlanta

Atlanta is the type of city that will make the Man or ruin the Man.

Path One

He can become so negatively engrossed with the 'sites' that a lost of focus and drive to be the best man he can be will quickly diminished.

The tempting eye candy is sexually enticing. The luscious targets are beautiful. Intelligent. Boldly aggressive. And, on too many occasions too easy. Too easy to exploit. Too easy to mislead. Too easy to rip off. Too easy to ‘pluck’. The plucking comes so regularly that it is no longer a conquering challenge for the King of the Jungle.

Atlanta is that jungle! The plucking can be slyly stolen from a municipal court judge, a customer service rep, a high-powered attorney, a Body Tap stripper, a bored homemaker, a corporate executive, or a Julia the nurse. Does not matter in The A. All of the 'pickings' are readily available! All the disguised Noble Wolf has to do is play the part. Pretend. Lie. Convince. Be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Ironically, the women prefer the

Path Two

He can evolve here. He can basically 'come into himself'. Most importantly, the persistent chasing, lawful stalking, and lustful preying will quickly become circular routine.

When this happens –typically unbeknownst to him- he moves towards a wholeness that really cannot be explained. It is an unusual mystery. Some refer to as maturation. Some say it is exhaustion. I just know that he settles. Settles down. Then he does everything within in his newly acquired power to avoid conflict with female, with job, and thankfully with his life. Additionally, at times he will purposely be elusive. He respectfully hides and literally runs from sexual encounters – preferring meaningful communication with the conservative woman

This is necessary to remain Anew. The lying stops. The bullshitting stops. He a man now! The Man has left Atlanta in mind. He has left The ATL without the overplayed hype that attracted him to the city: The Mecca, The 12-to-1 female to male ratio, and The Professional Opportunity. The latter is a misnomer…there are no jobs down here!

At the End of the Path

He becomes what God intended

A Man, and with that He becomes a Movement, a Force…He is Better

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1mvXej61aU

The Shadow

Life Terminated and Forfeited

I saw a kid holding an unrecognizable sign from distance. As I got closer I became intrigued by the picture and wording. So, I stopped my vehicle. Initially, I exited to get a good look at the image. After discovering what was in my FACE - I snapped a picture with my life line, my BlackBerry. With prideful excitement the father of the young fella said, "Son, turn around so he can get a full view of the sign:

I have held onto "son" for a few days. I have held onto the scene: a father and son vehemently campaigning against what the father believes is a moral atrocity, Abortion. I have held onto the astonishing power generated by the signs. So graphic! I have held onto to the statistics that the father spouted off AT me and other passer-bys as we wondered with amazement two blocks from politically red Georgia’s state capitol.

It would have been easy for me to blast the parents (wifey was with hubby) – but I stood there trying to redefine where I stand with abortion. Then suddenly, I was reminded of poor decision making. Decision making that's rooted in fear, embarrassment, regret, and an outright non-caring and disregard for life.

Life…isn’t it a choice?

We choose to live it...we choose to destroy it. Even the omnipresent character of the bible, God, requested that life be destroyed.

According, to Senator Rick Santorum – with his Christian zealously pro-life disposition believes that

When horrific incidents occur like this (link below) the black community may want to talk about abortion as a ‘choice conversation’ piece instead of taking issue with the Senator.
http://www.freep.com/article/20110119/NEWS07/110119081/Pennsylvania-abortion-doctor-accused-of-killing-babies-with-scissors

One thing I have never understood:

Why is there a heavy emphasis on 'the choice' after the baby has been formed as a living being; and not when the baby is about to be conceived? Isn’t there a brief moment of reality when Penis is about to enter Vagina? Realities that produce: STD’s, Baby Momma/Baby Daddy drama, and unwanted pregnancy. Pregnancies that are terminated…because of that hidden, and now newly valued Choice.

Some choices require us to live life in reverse. We are constantly looking back and trying to terminate what we created. A bad marriage, a bad living environment, and a bad job are only a few of the bad situations that we crochet.

We ALL have to knit more responsibility so that our lives can be guided while in Drive. Including the man, woman, and children that were flanked on a downtown Atlanta side walk. They have to be accountable for the messages that they are boldly projecting.

If we don’t think before acting…sexually, we will continue to erase life, distort life, and/or high-jack the lives of God's creation:

*That guy looks like The Shadow…not me*

Isn't it interesting that our adherences to God’s so called commandments are forfeited when we have 'a choice'? We have to stop living our lives with the Idea of Choice – then the Seeking of Forgiveness later. If there were no Choice perhaps we would not make so many unwarranted mistakes. Within the Hebrew bible there are not many choices that the biblical characters have/had at their convenient disposal…thus the reason the Hebrew bible is not utilized as The Law.

Disclaimer:

This was written without judgment. This was written with guilt. This was written as an attempt to remove the taboo discussion status from abortion. Typically, abortion is one of several topics that the black community -with the pathetic encouragement of the black church- AVOIDS.

The Shadow