Insecurity is a MF

Black men do a whole lot of talking and complaining about how insecure black women are – and the reasons are abundant. The insecurities are! With this understanding so much can be said about why black men and women in America are so insecure.


I have heard and listed the reasons of why before. Frankly, I am sick and tired of the go-to-reasons! And, for the record I have prefaced the reasons as legitimate justifications and unfortunately as lame excuses.

So, I want to begin this conversation by acknowledging that I have insecurities. Several of them are overly present in my life and the others are latent. They come forth when I begin to feel...You guessed it: Insecure.
My momma told me one day, "Never, never disclose all your insecurities to a female. If you do she will play on them one day. Use them against you."

Was momma right?

Also, I am of the belief that black men (some) need to ditch this machismo attitude of 'I am the man'. When I have said this in argument or in defense with a girlfriend, I knew when it left my mouth that I sounded like an idiot. "I am the man." Yes, I am the man. Obvious? Just dumb on my part!

That's the problem, the Obvious. Black men are so busy dealing with the obvious. And, not with what may be the problem.

We (black men) have some work to do, and for any black man reading and wondering why I wrote this…just think about how much time you spend on trying to be The Man…You sound like an IDIOT!

And, please - Black Man - don’t come at me with that weak position: ‘White men too…’. Save that for someone willing to listen and allow you to deflect.

-The Shadow