Sometimes in life we lose friends. Sometimes you gain/make a friend. I have had the opportunity to have a few friends that have been good for my life. I am sitting here hoping I have enriched someone else's life with my 90% friendship. I did not give 100%. I have been unable to because I am aware that people hurt each other. So, I shield most of myself from people's shit! The remaining 10% stays in reserves so I will not be on E when my friend decides to do what human nature dictates: LOOK OUT FOR SELF.
I have been the hurter and I have been hurt. I am deeply sorry for all those I have hurt. What I find interesting: most of the friends I have hurt are female. That to me is arresting. Why? Because it is obvious to me that most of the female friends I have had the pleasure to have in my life ended up WANTING me. Wanting me to be more than a friend. That is not ego talking. It is my truth. It is what I have been able to glean, and I believe that I am right.
My dreadful mistake was when I participated in taking the friendship to an intimacy level even after I told the female friend that I am not interested in more than what we have, friendship. That was my colossal mistake.
The question remains, what blunder did the female friend make? It is obvious: when she thought she could separate emotion from reality. Emotion came along as soon as she opened her legs. Reality exited the room for a moment of sex.
Reality remained the next day for me. Not for female friend. That was the collision. The accident. That's when my friendship with the female ended.
I write all of the above to express:
Women, when a man show you his card believe it is the right card. It is not a trick. Take him for what he has said and displayed. If he says, 'I am not interested in a relationship.' BELIEVE him! And keep ya legs closed! And finally, stop allowing yourself to be ruled by emotion. Emotion keeps ya wide open. It makes you desperate. Try to control it. Don't get rid of it. Just control it - or make every effort to
KEEP YA LEGS CLOSED.
-The Shadow
On-point!
ReplyDeleteI've seen too many females play themselves in that way. Shoot, back in the day, I played myself a fool a few times, too. It was my granny who spot checked me on it one day. Never let it happen again. Man, I miss her. ;-)
ReplyDeletei agree as well sadly to say. Been there done that. Lot
ReplyDeletewell said...no such thing as "Friends With Benefits".
ReplyDeleteyou are SPOT on with this, but hate to tell you that Oprah has also said the same thing with a different twist (When a man tells you his an asshole, BELIEVE HIM)
ReplyDeletea Man having sex with a woman seperate from emotion does not make him an asshole. Brian is giving you a man's perspective. It may help women to actually listen when a man attempts to communicate...............
ReplyDeletereinforcing that when a guy tells you something, BELIEVE HIM! Women, and I'll admit I've been guilty of this in the past too, think he or the situation is gonna change...
ReplyDeleteWe simply are not wired the same. Sometimes it's difficult for us to understand why we are the way we are. Women please STOP trying to change men. Men only change when and if they want to.
ReplyDeleteVery well said. I challenge you and all men to stop taking advantage of those situations. If you know a woman that has masqueraded herself as a "friend" wants more from you, why sleep with her? Why can't YOU ALL be the adults and just say NO? Are we just suppose to accept the old addage abot men being men? Ugh!
ReplyDeleteI agree - men can keep their business in their pants as woman their legs closed however we all know with sex is emotion mainly for women and why would men want the drama if they know a woman is already in to them without the sex
ReplyDeleteI am covinced that when some men think around a woman and they are aroused, they are not thinking with their real brain at the time. They are thinking with their other brain. LOL I have been the victim of that thinking before and it sucks! So now I know. At this point in my life, been there...hurt and not hurt depending on how I felt about the ... See Moreman, but at this point in my life, I look at it in a whole different light.....if the feeling is there and I want to, fine and thanks for the sexual healing if I need it, but I make the choices.IIf more happens besides that, then fine, but if not move on. LOL
ReplyDeleteIt took me a LONG time to reach that point of maturity. It's a two way street, most of the time the man is going to go ahead for the short term physical act. Unfortunate but true.
ReplyDeleteOk, so I have a question-is it even possible for a man and woman to be platonic friends if there is a strong attraction between the two? Or is it just a count down to the inevitable?
ReplyDeleteGreat question. My money is on the countdown. Men too weak and women too hopeful.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your honesty. I'm gonna make sure that all of my platonic friends from here on out are butt ugly! That way, he'll be the only one secretly lusting, lol!
ReplyDeleteWomen- Ya not gonna like this:
ReplyDeleteNo man should be responsible for your decisions. Wanting a man to make a decision for you. Ass backwards! Use the side of your brain that will make you at like Hilary Clinton! She ain't running around here behaving like an emotional bag. Also, when you at work do you keep ya emotions in check? Yes ya do! Stop ... See Moreequating a good banging with love and 'he likes me'. He just hit it! Damn.
I think it so pathetic when women get to that place of desperation as a result of opening the legs with the hopes he will be mine now! Think about how dumb that sounds.
Expecting a MAN to do what you should do ain't the right path. You responsible fo yoself, Queen!
I will be platonic from this poijnt on...I ain't dealing with the fallout. The drama. The foolishnes because a female cannot control her emotions. Be what you are: STRONG!
Women - If ya offended I ain't sorry. I am saying what a big brother SHOULD tell ya!
ReplyDeleteThanks big BRO! Wish you would have shared your wisdom about 4 years ago. Would have save me a lot of...well nevermind.
ReplyDeleteLil Sis - Be honest with this:
ReplyDeleteWould you have taken the "wisdom" and acted on it in such a way that would have not left you WIDE OPEN? Be honest.
If you answer with NO. My point has been made.
I have suggested time and time again that women need to hear and LISTEN to men. Sadly, IMO, ya girlfriends are not good people to take a lot of advice from. Why? It comes with baggage filled emotion. Full of emotion.
I believe that if a man sat me down and honestly explained that to me (without any mixed messages ie. his actions aren't pursueing my ass) I would have listened, followed and NOT acted on emotion. Most women aren't given that opportunity. Instead, a man may say one thing but his actions clearly state something else! Confusing..... I'm over it! Anybody got a cute girlfriend they can hook me up with? Women are far less complicated.
ReplyDeleteI've always believe that Women set the tone of the relationship with ANY man and I've never known a man to walk away from pussy. I value my relationships with the "fellows" and when one starts to eye me like I remind him of his favorite sandwich I bring him back to reality.
ReplyDelete