Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Tainted Man Rules

Rules are Rules. There should not be any deviation from them. If there is a ‘break away’ from the rules one should expect to be reprimanded and/or discarded. –The Unwritten

That is a strict message to not only send – but to comply to predetermined rules where no slack is given for breaking a rule must indicate that the culture that makes up the rules is serious about maintaining an intense level of order. Somewhat reflective of the military.

In the armed forces if one purposely or mistakenly deviates, a life could be lost. All it takes is one soldier to disobey an order or ignore a regulation; and an entire unit can be wiped out by the enemy. That is serious life altering business that affects the whole. The family. The bond.

Rules that pertain to the male culture are selfishly considered honorable e.g. man code-ish. Usually this way of conducting and behaving is in stark contrast to what is necessary to adhere to acceptable morals and values. Not that the male society is totally void of decency. No - that is not what I would like to imply. Nonetheless, the unwritten ‘policies’ are in contradiction of what many fathers convey to their sons. Basically, men with children do not tell their boys to subject themselves to the torching of their souls. As fathers we encourage our children to make the RIGHT decision. Typically, this right decision is without subjectivity. It should be an appropriate decision that falls inline with the natural order i.e. adhering to The Golden Rule. This rule, by the way, if followed could eradicate many issues that pollute the world and the souls of mankind.

Our souls keep a record of all the good and bad we project into the universe. It is a journal where entries cannot be erased. The imprints are written in blood. Literally, in blood because what we bear to our soul is unchangeable. It is sealed, typically with a pain; not a joy. Therefore, what we share with the world after living for awhile is a composition of regrettable decisions. However, these decisions do not become unwanted complexities of our souls until we are ready to face them head-on. With truth. With humility. With full disclosure. Prior to this RIGHT decision we willingly allow the soul of man to be in conflict.

ALL men are fully aware of what I am attempting to convey. Many of us are not prepared to listen to the vehicle I have chosen to reveal the message. That vehicle is the bosom of my “messy” soul. My “pull pit” is where I have waddled for years. Never realizing that the mess that I have created is all I have to address MY behavior. My demons. Demons that are with all of us to some degree, if not, similar demons. So, in all of this I have taken a road that leaves me in the position of being inaccurately accused that ‘My house is in order’. Thus the reason I have purposely fallen victim for years to a man code that has eaten away at the fabric of the family.

Man Rules in all their ridiculous bravado have assisted in the death and destruction of the black family. Not solely responsible – but its damage can be found in the Souls of Black Folk. Look at us…what are we if we do not have respectable honor? And, to voice what has been described as righteous indignation (my opinions):

There is No Honor in Man Rules. Not the ones that do not protect and cherish integrity.

In the final analysis, at the end of the day - all there is a pseudo fraternity of imitation brotherhood that does not push or advocate for personal responsibility.

Written by The Shadow. Re-inspired by a married friend who asked me, “Can I bring my side chick with me when I come to visit you?” My new and improved response: “HELL NO!”

6 comments:

  1. Reader Response:

    "In the final analysis, at the end of the day - all there is a pseudo fraternity of imitation brotherhood that does not push or advocate for personal responsibility."

    Amen! (though the same could be said about more than just black men) Nicely said, BPayne.

    -SE

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  2. Reader Response:

    Men are idiots. Just dumb! I am a man-and I stand by that!!

    -FG

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  3. The Shadow responds to a fella:

    Bruh,

    In Keene, California an 18 wheeler over turned Sunday. It erupted into flames. It was carrying a product that if caught fire would spew a toxic gas. The people in the immediate area have been asked not to open their windows or doors as a safety precaution.

    Thousands of men have purposely turned their lives upside down in an effort to 'be a man'. I told a priest years ago, "I want to be a good man." We all fall short...is my sorry-azz excuse, what's yours?

    What I have done is participated in fires. What many men do is start fires (me too), and then they bring other men into the fire by directly and indirectly asking them to "cover" for them.

    Leaving the wives/girlfriends/jump-offs just like the people in Keene, Cali: they cannot open the doors/gateway to freedom because the toxicity of the situation is too overwhelming. This resulting in no one initially putting out the fire. Not even the one getting burned: The Female.

    The fellas are not gonna put out the fire unless FORCED by a force - and on many occasions their women knowingly allow the fire to burn everything up. But, the ultimate 'character' in this mess is the Fire Starter (as always).

    Are you the Fire Starter?

    Don't yell at me with ya bold caps. You got da match, and you have ignited the flame time and time again.

    I am nothing more and nothing less than a pathetically slow moving fire truck carrying some H20. On the way to the fire I have sadly hoped for barriers (inflated ego, outlandish lies, stupid man rules, weak-azz excuses, etc.) to prevent me from utilizing the water.

    Who da fool?

    The idiot who ‘carries’ the toxicants (me), the notorious arsonist (you), and the ignoring-the-obvious female.

    Twenty-seven years away from my estimated/projected death (67) – and I am now prepared to help put out the fire...but it is too late. The toxic fumes have been inhaled by most.

    Sad. Sad.

    Holla!

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  4. Reader Response:

    YOU CALLED THE BROS out!!! It's true... I'm pretty sure you're going to catch hell from this one!

    -SR

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  5. The Shadow responds to SR:

    Truth is always best...but I do realize it may not be appropriate to voice it all the time. I could no longer sensory myself on this subject. I just could not. I realize that I have isolated myself. Well, some will flee. Not ONE has said a word directly to me. Except for the random dude. No one I know. That is interesting???? I figured that would be the case. I am also smart enough to know that a few are chatting about it separately on another email thread. Probably saying that I am living in a glass house. Whatever. I put my crap out there. I ALWAYS speak my demons. My shortcomings. My crap in commentary. Probably too much.

    -The Shadow

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  6. Reader Response:

    so been sick and now doing catch up.

    I sat out on this being a white girl, but as a white girl that has been cheated on (by both black and white men...and in both cases there was no obvious as you stated :) in my life, I applaud you for taking this stance. I truly believe that only those that are in the same boat are going to be able to facilitate change. White men are mostly going to be influenced by white men, and black men are mostly going to be challenged, (and inspired...which wheter you realize it or not you are doing) by other black men.

    I'm saddened to hear that you've lost fellow brothers in this challenge/inspiration though, but commend you on your integrity.

    -SN

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