Broken Mistrial

Broken...

Each and every time justice does not prevail I lose something. A piece of me dies. I become more numb. My sadness deepens. My view of humanity lowers. My day becomes a horrific day. My night will be restless. I will toss and turn wondering if these United States will ever live up to its Creed. My disappointment becomes a way to cope. Literally. Disappointment helps ease my already persistent pain...anguish. I could put my head in a bottle...put my brain in the clouds of weed...I could try to sex away my frustration. Frustrated with the level of hate that I do not have. Then I wonder why in the hell am I not hating when my comrades are becoming dust and dirt...killed by the police and in death victimized again by racism. How in the hell should I navigate thru this Night of Mistrial knowing that Walter Scott was another soul taken...taken further away by one or two people concluding, Not Guilty? What am I? My soul is wasting away. I am becoming void. The next blow may just send me over the top. On this rainy night I must find a way to cope. Sleep. Sleep it all away to face reality tomorrow. Walter Scott will still be dead and I will be closer to death in spirit.

Fidel Castro - Hypocrisy, Lies, and Good Deeds

Sometimes in life there are moments or events that occur that remind me that I am entirely too comfortable with the status quo...with what my country’s government represents. For the past week, I have spent so much of my precious time defending my public support of Fidel Alejandro Cas​tro Ruz. It was to be expected, considering Castro was a controversial figure. And, I never shy away from a debate or a challenge to support my opinions and beliefs.

Admittedly, I know Castro was responsible for numerous acts that caused some Cubans a great deal of pain and discomfort. Some say he was personally linked to murdering those who did not accept his policies...dictatorship. Is this an accusation made without legitimate proof...an assertion created by the United States of America propaganda machine to benefit Her?

Conversely, others joyfully boast that Fidel Castro was a sergeant at arms world figure who positioned his country to safeguard its sovereignty and block Western imperialism. Perhaps, he feared the Westerners and Europeans would do what they have always done: Rape, Steal and Destroy. He is also a man who continues to receive praise in his death for his contributions to the political, social-justice and cultural landscape of Cuba and various countries throughout the world. Countless world leaders have issued poignant statements that support that he was a decent man...a man who did all he could for the Cuban people...a man who was the essence of social rebellion during a time when brute force was used by United States government to eliminate the Black Panther Party, MOVE Organization, SCLC and other bodies of righteous rebellion. The world leaders include the presidents of Mexico, Ecuador, Bolivia, Venezuela and South Africa. The accolades continue with sentiments that echo Fidel Castro’s legacy. Should we write these leaders off as misguided or as men who have a grudge against the Western World? Should we not consider that Fidel Castro has received multitudinous decorations over a 50 year period?

Hypocrisy and Lies

It is simple to me, Fidel Castro was a man who did not own slaves, he was a man who did not state-sponsor programs to infect men with disease, he did not represent a country that used hanging as a killing contrivance to kill black people simply because the black men and women wanted to be free, he was not the the leader of a country that denied human beings civil rights for decades, he was not a man who ordered intelligence services to topple foreign governments only to expand neocolonialism, he was not the leader that with malice orchestrated civil wars in Africa and Asia, he was not the man who sanctioned illegal surveillance of groups that did not agree with racist governmental mandates, he definitely was not the man who intentionally flooded neighborhoods with crack cocaine…

Fidel Castro never blocked the bearer of life (women) to take part in the voting process, Fidel Castro never allowed people to die simply because they could not afford basic healthcare, Fidel Castro was not the head of a nation that flaunts itself as ‘The Best’ when in fact the country ranks significantly low in education. Unlike the US government, the Cuban government does not support institutional racism which has permanently crippled people of color.

Yes, Castro’s government was/is a dictatorship - but ironically it functions as a government that cares about its citizens. Yes, the United States government is a democracy - but ironically it functions as a government that does nothing when black men are shot in the back by overzealous police officers.

Good Deeds

Here are some truths...here are Fidel Castro’s achievements that many consider ‘Good Deeds’.

1​. Cuba’s literacy rate at one point in history was extremely low. While Castro was president the literacy rate grew dramatically. He was a proponent of reading and learning for everyone including the poor. Sadly,, the United States government allows states to implement educational barriers (standardized testing) that further disenfranchises the poor and people of color. 2​. The Cuban military bravely fought against Apartheid while the United States government did not lift a finger to lend assistance. 3​. Under Castro’s leadership Cubans had access to free medical services. The United States of America have allowed men, women and children to die simply because they could not afford medical assistance. 4​. The Cuban government ordered the construction of more schools to accommodate those who were without classrooms (mostly the poor). Inconsequently, the United States government continues to sanction state takeovers of schools because kids are failing culturally biased exams. 5​. Under Castro, the ownership of land was limited to 993 acres per owner to prevent sole proprietorship of unlimited acres - and it was made illegal for foreigners to buy land. In the United States of America land was stolen by Her founding fathers, and never returned to the rightful owners, The Native Americans. 6​. Castro's acceptance of environmentalism led Cuba to become the first nation in the world to meet eco-sustainable development standards. In the United States the environment is treated as an afterthought leaving lower socioeconomic communities barren. 7​. The eradication of racism was a hallmark of Fidel’s government. They have done everything possible to remove race as a factor. Not in the United States. If you are a African American, Asian or Hispanic you are last to be employed in most white collar positions. 8​. Castro ordered the dissolution of a capitalist system that allowed American-owned businesses to flourish while the Poor ​ became what a capitalist economy dictates, poorer. This supports the truth that capitalism is not a ‘superior’ enterprise as the Americans swank.

I do not hold any misdirected allegiance to Cuba. I am a man who calls a spade a spade. The United States government is that Spade​. She is the Snake in the grass. She is the Hypocrite that throws stones in the faces of its citizenry. She is the country that feeds lies to its people with the intention of demonizing those who do not Pledge Allegiance.

The Shadow 

They Keep Killing Us

They Keep Killing Us

How much longer are THEY going to kill us, we are becoming dust. Brushed away...pushed aside as if we are decay. Rotten, Spoiled and Unwanted is what we are in the minds and hearts of the inaccurately Anointed. What makes THEM so much valued than us? In God's eyes we are suppose to be of the upper crust...Honorable and Humble we are apparently not. Because THEY keep killing us. -The Shadow

*The "they/them" are the men and women in Blue. The police who may just be afraid of You.

No One is Right or Wrong...Freddie is Dead

Expressing your anger in the most violent form at your disposal is not right. We know that. Looting, trashing, stealing, or any other form of mayhem is recklessly irresponsible. Watts has never recovered. This behavior does not honor Freddie, Freddie is Dead. So says Curtis Mayfield. The destructive uproar continues the cycle of apathy that plagues the minds and hearts of a people that live in a World that can care less about them, Black Lives Don't Matter. 

Time and time again black and brown people around the globe are maligned or left out to die by God's climate warming inactivity (the Nepalese people are brown) which does nothing less than enrage the Browns and Blacks internally. This divine consequence becomes a Burning Spear that melts their souls. Imagine that, killed by the very weapon -the spear- that was no match for the European gun. The White Explorers won the battle. Harboring this rage is the equivalent to literally being on fire. You can't shake the pain. You can't stop the intense feeling of your skin dissolving. 

The evaporation of the flesh is similar to watching a man rape your mother. Your mother fights but the rape continues until the end. Not an Endless Love, it is an Endless Rape. This rape...this stripping that the black human has endured is manifesting in Baltimore and simmering in an awaiting city. Nothing...will extinguish a fire that's not controlled. It is the Fire Next Time. James Baldwin shared years ago what needs to be understood by the white masses:

"You must put yourself in the skin of a black man. . ." 

writes James Baldwin as he seeks to translate what it means to be a Negro in white America so that a white man can understand it.

It is not a fire intended for Purification. We all need that. The fire is the police's brutal and inhuman treatment of black men, Racial Injustice. The believed Right is represented in the images of black men and women who use their anger to dismantle their neighborhoods. The believed Wrong is the demoralization of what no black man/woman has ever obtained, Justice. Nothing is Just about integrating into a Burning House. Both, The Right and The Wrong are inflicted out of fear and corruptness. Both, The Right and The Wrong are outcomes that comfort and pacify the Looter. They are not thugs. 

That identification should be reserved for America's Founding Fathers. 

The looter is the Opportunist who prefers to be the mirror image of the policemen that did something so unconscionable a man's vertebrae was severed...completely broken in two. A duality that describes the United States of America, Two Different Worlds (http://revcom.us/i/318/BAsics-4-1.png). There is no Grey in this Anatomy. 

Both, the Cops and Opportunist are one in the same. They are cheapen CO's, Correctional Officers correcting nothing! They -the police- are the Corrupt Cause and they -the opportunist- are The Erratic Effect. No one wins. No one is honored. 

Freddie is Dead

"We're all built up with progress. But sometimes I must confess. We can deal with rockets and dreams. But reality, what does it mean? Ain't nothing said. Cause Freddie's dead!" -Curtis Mayfield  ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B6TKClPFQA)

The Shadow

Eddie's Restraint

First, the critics (that includes you) said Eddie Murphy bombed...they said he was unprepared. Some even said he did not have 'it' anymore. Now, we know what Eddie was dealing with...we now know why he appeared to be discombobulated. He decided to do something that many are describing as 'stand-up'. He in fact with his act of granting a comedic reprieve spared Bill Cosby additional humiliation.  Humiliation that's based in accusations that have been substantiated by countless women from all walks of life.  If Bill's accusers are found to be truthful, Bill Cosby does not deserve the 'break' Eddie Murphy granted.

In the past, Murphy has been relentlessly Raw.

As far back as I can remember, Eddie Murphy has not been the comedian that spends a chunk of his stage time directly making fun of an individual. He has been known for mimicking several different personalities - but he has not been that comedian that randomly selects a member of an audience, and begin to make the comedy show-goer the butt of all his jokes.

The decision he made could have expelled him from the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary show...who knows Murphy's act of kindness may earn him a Macbeth tag. We know that decisions actors/celebrities make can damage or enhance their careers. It was obvious that Eddie Murphy does not give a damn. He is confident in that he will continue to get work. He is confident in knowing that his reputation of an once potty mouth comedian turned children's movie actor is intact.

One is able of doing this when he/she has cemented their legacy. Our legacy is all we have when you strip away money, talent, appearance and accolades. Bill Cosby's legacy should be rooted in The Adventures of Fat Albert, The Cosby Show and all the other contributions he has presented to the moral landscape of the world.

Eddie Murphy has helped us remember what it means to be a Giver and not a Taker. He did not take away more of what Cosby has lost...Respect. Murphy in this circumstance will be remembered for giving us (the public) the opportunity to remember Bill Cosby as which he was before the parade of women issued their accusations. Accusations that more than likely have merit. Bill is not innocent in my mind. If he is, there is a hell of a conspiracy that has been masterminded to malign him. And, we know that all those women are not lying. He is sitting in guilt to some degree. Knowing this, Murphy still gave Bill a pass. That should have been enough to prompt a continuation of 'not kicking a man' when he is down. It was not.

Kenan Thompson, the less funny guy, went ahead and gave the producers SNL producers what they wanted - an opportunity to make fun of Bill Cosby. There will always be that one person who refuses to exercise restraint. Kenan and Bill are two peas in a pod. They could not resist...they had to satisfy their temptation and ego-centered desires. Kenan the comedian who has to issue the last laugh and Bill the comedian turned Black Dad of television had to conquer women in a way that does nothing for his mojo.

Thanks, Eddie Murphy, for doing what Cosby and Thompson were unable to do.

The Shadow 

Recently, on two separate occasions two different women told me in essence:

'You are not necessarily a good catch.'

One indicated that I could not afford her and the other implied that I do not have time for her due to the fact that I have parental responsibilities.

For the past 3 weeks I have been thinking about their assertions/opinions/beliefs/decision to bypass me, a father of three (two of the children are here in GA with/near me and I am very active in the children lives) and a man (me) who has struggled in the job market for a lengthy time period, leaving me with limited monies.

I must admit I was somewhat taken a back...I actually developed an attitude. I began to get pissed off as the days passed. I eventually calmed down, and took a few moments to think a little more about their words/decisions and my feelings.

I certainly understand we all have standards and certain selection criteria. I also understand that these beautiful -in all the ways that I prefer- have a right to be selective.

What I typically do when a justification on why someone will not do something is presented to me: I become somewhat defensive if I have conceded to do the opposite before in my lifetime.

 

For example, I have willingly/freely/without judgment dated several women who could fall under the characterization of the above "Not Necessarily a Good Catch". I have been the boyfriend of a couple of women who had children at the time. I have also dated COUNTLESS women and became Mr. Boyfriend to quite a few females who were essentially broke...busted. Additionally, I personally know a number of good men who have become involved with single mothers and financially challenged women.

This confirms to me that men are quite tolerant when these so called barriers are realities. Just think about the men you know who have been daddy to kids that were not his own...think about that brother who was bill payer for women. Think about them...These men looked pass the 'unbecoming characteristics' - and dived in...into to the relationship with Baby Momma and/or Mrs. Penniless.

SO, I have a question:

Why have many of these women decided to PASS on a Broke Brother and/or active Baby Daddy when IN FACT if the scenario/situation was reversed the man would disregard the 'bad characteristics' - and embrace the female?

 

The Shadow

 

 

I have witnessed time and time again FAR TOO MANY African American mothers purposely emasculate their sons. I have also been a witness to the unintentionally 'bitching-down' of young black boys by their single parent black momma.

(Now, before you continue to read please do understand that my emotional and mental disposition this AM has been negatively altered. Therefore, I may be a bit offensive - but please do know that every single word that I type is My Truth...Mine!)

I -this morning- was a victim of a black female's bitter...scorned wrath...in the PRESENCE of my son, Bryce. 

After a great deal of prayer and maturation I have learned to initially ignore a woman when she is behaving like a typical nicca girl. In the past, I would get nigger-rish in response. That only led to two properly raised and educated people arguing...in public, in private or in the presence of their off-springs. No mo of dat!

When a young black man is in the home of a single black mother who is unsuccessfully dealing with her hatred for black dad, he (the son) will grow to resent black mom. He will constantly question why black mom is ALWAYS at black dad's throat: punking him, yelling at him, treating him like an infection. The black son tucks away these experiences. He makes a mental note of the treatment - and later when he is coming into himself...becoming the Baby Boy that black mom has created, he will soon begin to vividly recall his mom's behavior. It is such a powerful memory...so much so he is disgusted by not only the behavior but repulsed by black women. He grows into teenage years literally pissed with black mom because she purposely PUSHED black dad to either a breaking point or temporarily -in some circumstances- permanently AWAY. The black dad becomes estranged. He bolts in a effort to NOT bust black mom in the head. 

In the end black boy begins to have relationship dilemmas with black girl. In the end after ONLY witnessing his mother fly-off the handle with black dad time and time again he solidifies his motherly-created belief:

All Black Women are Mad as Hell

This pervasive belief/understanding has some validity thus the reason it has been documented in cinema.

Then after black mom and black girlfriends validate the stereotypes (partial truths) he finally crosses over...he gets him an international chick or a Susie (white girl).

The Shadow

Scandal's Scandal...

 October 17, 2013, 9:53PM 

 

As many of you (African American women) prepare to watch a TV show that features a black woman be a whore monger, I find it not only strangely interesting but shamefully perplexing that you are so captivated by a show that promotes an erosion of morality. Then again…I should not be so mind-fogged considering it is the female that made soap opera actors millionaires! Be truthful...be of fact: The main character is a home wrecker...a relationship sabotager...a cheater...a 2-bit high dollar female disgrace. So I ask, does this show Scandal garner so much attention from black females (who are by personal admission and experience disgusted by adulterous affairs) induce some ridiculous sense of power that you have forfeited as a result of choosing the wrong man or lost because you have become the New Slave of Corporate America? Also in/with fact, Scandal would not be as popular if it featured a fine black man involved with a white woman who is married. African American women have always deplored the interracial relationship that features a black man sexing a white woman. Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Tiki Barber, even Blair Underwood has been bashed by black women because his new television series character is in relationship with a white woman. Are you, God's creation of decency, so mind damaged...so emotionally handicapped that you will glorify what you truly despise? Where is the black feminist condemnation...as there would be if the situation/scenario displayed the opposite? I have said time and time again that African American women are beginning to take on male traits...the detrimental characteristics that demean and that will eventually destroy black male-female interactions and connections. Some of you, black female fans of Scandal, will blow off my critical commentary as nothing but a black man enraged by a beautiful black woman banging a white man. Some will say that I am being overly critical of a well-written and remarkably produced television show...that I am making my discomfort out to be more than what it is, a TV show that provides entertainment. But, I have also said that what’s praised is also a Want and a Desire…like the most wanted and desired boy in high school by the hot-in-the-pants girls is the Flunky…The Bad Boy…The Baby Boy type. Actually, this juvenileness plays itself out well beyond secondary school! By any chance do you, the queen of civilation, desire to be a slut - or are you that woman who was made into a slut by the most sought-after man? 

The Shadow 

Safe Finish?

Damn...we are not safe at school...at the mall...at the movies...at the park...at the grocery store...we are not safe at all. Boston Marathon explosions at the finish line. Think about that...At the finish line. Imagine the thrilling feeling of finishing a marathon. Imagine what goes through the mind of a runner when he/she sees the finish line. Imagine the thoughts the runner has of completing and later relaxing...Sad world we live in. We are not even safe when we are FINISH...

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/16/us/explosions-reported-at-site-of-boston-marathon.html?_r=0

 

Anonymously One with Trash

Sunday, February 24, 2013 marked two years of official unemployment. That’s unemployment outside of my skillset. 

I have definitely worked over the past 24 months. On several occasions, I was reminded of how much of a metro sexual softy that I am. Many of my employment assignments were manual in labor. Manual in labor…I like that! 

Someone asked me a few weeks ago, “Do you really look for a job every single day?” I remain puzzled by her question…of course I search for employment every day…employment that matches my extensive education and training! What was I supposed to do with my news media overload mornings, occasional boring afternoons, and lonesome evenings of Two and a Half Men reruns - skipping a day to relax my overactive brain…rest to avoid depressing frustration? No, I got up each and every morning with job on my mind. Find a job, I mean! 

Inconsequently, I must admit that the search has taken a toll on my medication induced enthusiastic spirit and the job pursuit has zapped all the professional self-esteem I had prior to my membership in the Rat Race. Thankfully, my peculiar self-confidence has not taken a defeated hit. I still do believe that I am a damn good catch with the unemployment tag written all over my face…I think. But, I have not had a date or anyone to express further interest in me after I disclose that I am Seeking Employment. Not sure if that fact has adjusted my Chi…my swag? Nope…it has not.   

My spirit –the life-force- within me has resembled a tattered work bag. It is somewhat still useful, and the only reason I hold onto the ‘bag’ is because the bag is all I have…

It is a bag that has somewhat defined me. I can admit it now…The Peace Corps, the YMCA, AmeriCorps, and Goodwill Industries have been the Epitome of my Existence. I have been identified from my human service contribution…from attempting to be unique. Unique as in, I am one of a not too many African American men working in the capacity of domestic and international service. But, that life appears to be over – and I am perfectly okay with that. SO okay with that! 

My soul is all that I have remaining besides my children. They in fact should be enough. Although, having pride in knowing that I have children and believing that I am a decent father does not pay the financial responsibilities that I have lingering. 

Lingering is a good word to describe my emotional status. I am just here…lingering on, not leaning on. I definitely don’t lean on the everlasting hand of Jesus! Lingering for me is identified as staying in range…in range of pinpointing and securing success. 

With humility, I do not need God or a Jesus for that. God’s job is complete. It is My Time to be what a Divine Force has secondarily sanctioned Me to Be: 

Free from managerial and directorship responsibility. I have NO desire to manage, lead, or direct. None whatsoever! All I want to do is be anonymously one with trash pickup. Trash does not chatter excessively, repulsively whine, lie or mislead to acquire status, call-out because of monthly cramps, deliberately backstab, or sexually harass females with intoxicating sex appeal. 

I prefer Trash…

The Shadow from the Shadow Series