Recently, on two separate occasions two different women told me in essence:

'You are not necessarily a good catch.'

One indicated that I could not afford her and the other implied that I do not have time for her due to the fact that I have parental responsibilities.

For the past 3 weeks I have been thinking about their assertions/opinions/beliefs/decision to bypass me, a father of three (two of the children are here in GA with/near me and I am very active in the children lives) and a man (me) who has struggled in the job market for a lengthy time period, leaving me with limited monies.

I must admit I was somewhat taken a back...I actually developed an attitude. I began to get pissed off as the days passed. I eventually calmed down, and took a few moments to think a little more about their words/decisions and my feelings.

I certainly understand we all have standards and certain selection criteria. I also understand that these beautiful -in all the ways that I prefer- have a right to be selective.

What I typically do when a justification on why someone will not do something is presented to me: I become somewhat defensive if I have conceded to do the opposite before in my lifetime.

 

For example, I have willingly/freely/without judgment dated several women who could fall under the characterization of the above "Not Necessarily a Good Catch". I have been the boyfriend of a couple of women who had children at the time. I have also dated COUNTLESS women and became Mr. Boyfriend to quite a few females who were essentially broke...busted. Additionally, I personally know a number of good men who have become involved with single mothers and financially challenged women.

This confirms to me that men are quite tolerant when these so called barriers are realities. Just think about the men you know who have been daddy to kids that were not his own...think about that brother who was bill payer for women. Think about them...These men looked pass the 'unbecoming characteristics' - and dived in...into to the relationship with Baby Momma and/or Mrs. Penniless.

SO, I have a question:

Why have many of these women decided to PASS on a Broke Brother and/or active Baby Daddy when IN FACT if the scenario/situation was reversed the man would disregard the 'bad characteristics' - and embrace the female?

 

The Shadow

 

 

I have witnessed time and time again FAR TOO MANY African American mothers purposely emasculate their sons. I have also been a witness to the unintentionally 'bitching-down' of young black boys by their single parent black momma.

(Now, before you continue to read please do understand that my emotional and mental disposition this AM has been negatively altered. Therefore, I may be a bit offensive - but please do know that every single word that I type is My Truth...Mine!)

I -this morning- was a victim of a black female's bitter...scorned wrath...in the PRESENCE of my son, Bryce. 

After a great deal of prayer and maturation I have learned to initially ignore a woman when she is behaving like a typical nicca girl. In the past, I would get nigger-rish in response. That only led to two properly raised and educated people arguing...in public, in private or in the presence of their off-springs. No mo of dat!

When a young black man is in the home of a single black mother who is unsuccessfully dealing with her hatred for black dad, he (the son) will grow to resent black mom. He will constantly question why black mom is ALWAYS at black dad's throat: punking him, yelling at him, treating him like an infection. The black son tucks away these experiences. He makes a mental note of the treatment - and later when he is coming into himself...becoming the Baby Boy that black mom has created, he will soon begin to vividly recall his mom's behavior. It is such a powerful memory...so much so he is disgusted by not only the behavior but repulsed by black women. He grows into teenage years literally pissed with black mom because she purposely PUSHED black dad to either a breaking point or temporarily -in some circumstances- permanently AWAY. The black dad becomes estranged. He bolts in a effort to NOT bust black mom in the head. 

In the end black boy begins to have relationship dilemmas with black girl. In the end after ONLY witnessing his mother fly-off the handle with black dad time and time again he solidifies his motherly-created belief:

All Black Women are Mad as Hell

This pervasive belief/understanding has some validity thus the reason it has been documented in cinema.

Then after black mom and black girlfriends validate the stereotypes (partial truths) he finally crosses over...he gets him an international chick or a Susie (white girl).

The Shadow