Mismatch

I have made the mistake of putting on two different socks before. One brown and the other black. A mismatch. I didn't notice until someone pointed it out to me. Not knowing was fine. I was still complete. Together...in my mind.


Searching for wholeness is top priority for us. Well, it should be. We vainly and with insecurity seek to complete ourselves in various forms. Taking on a plethora of devices, gadgets, additions, removals, and human resources e.g. a man or a woman to make us feel some sense of finality.

In my observations lately I have noticed that numerous black females are attempting to complete themselves with what appears to be a non-match. A mismatch. With a man that's not their first choice...but he is good enough. He will do. At least until the man that makes her tingle comes along!

This time around in the world of relationship, however, the men are not the 1990’s rough around the edges type of guys. They are not the bad boys. Bad boys use to get all the trim! And, Mr. Nice Guy got the leftovers.

They are the men who finish last in looks and in some cases in personality. Some have beer bellies, and others just don't cut it when you take a glance at the accompanying female. She is stunning. Beautiful. Fine. Sexy...but she's with what many would characterize as a busta. A putts. A cornball. You know, those guys who no one played with in grade school…

This dynamic was inevitable. Black women are willing to give the not so popular man - the dud - a chance considering what the media feeds us e.g. black men are a dying breed and considering the handsome and overly popular man is capitalizing off his ability to date and bang several women all at once. He, the latter, is uninterested in presenting an opportunity to help young women identify and secure completeness. That's too much work! He is comfortable knowing that his attractiveness will win out. Get him the booty! Heck, it worked in the past, why not now?

The exterior is the primary motivator for us initially. Those who say otherwise is lying! Perhaps, this fact is changing. Perhaps, black women are sick and tired of dealing with Mr. Fine. Perhaps, Busta is finally getting a piece of the pie. He has waited long enough! It is his time. So, forget about Mr. Light Skin coming back. Forget about Mr. Tall, Dark, Bald, and Handsome staying on top. Busta is getting the super fine women these days. They made the right moves, or should I say that they did not move? They waited. Waited for that moment when black women got truly feed up with what Mr. Popular brings to the table or doesn’t bring to the table. Busta is smart - and he was the life of the party this weekend while I (tall, dark, handsome, and unwilling to commit) sat on the perimeter all alone! Good thing I am enjoying my time without having to work at maintaining a relationship. I don’t have the energy!

The Shadow