Coming Out the Closet

What is happening to me? I am changing into someone/something I do not recognize. Unidentifiable. The Shadow is being taken over by a foreign concept for most men.

I am actually considering a way of life that many women implement to gain clarity. To emotionally cleanse. To re-center. Bring themselves back to spiritual wholeness.

Some women are forced into this decision because of societal demographics. While this decision for her is unwanted it is somewhat an inevitable reality. A realness that has become an unwanted occurrence because of 'the way it is' for women today. Especially, for black women.

While my contemplation is a serious one, I am certain some men will mock my choice. I don't care. If I were concerned about what the 'fellas' think I would have tamed many of my comments that have indicted men. Me included. I would have decided to be silent in protection of the shallow man bond.

Forced from the brotherhood on my terms may be the reason I am coming out of the closet that has confined me to limited sexual pleasure. Pleasure that for many reasons have not generated much gratification.

Emptiness is what we have when we... (stop, Brian, clarify with an 'I statement'). Emptiness is what I have when I give away my sacred energy.

That energy is my sex. Sex that does not reach the level of meaningfulness. Sex that's empty. So empty that when the energy in life form leaves (ejaculates) my body I instantly want to be free of the hallow moment. I want to be with who I am emotionally comfortable: ME, MYSELF, AND I. Not with a naked, unpleasing, and irritating stranger.

Strangers are who many of us purposely and unknowingly give ourselves to via sexual intercourse - which may be the reason I have not fully benefited from unconnected sexual activity in a long time. And, consequently may be the reason I just can't do this causal copulating any longer with honoring what I am considering:

Celibacy

Written by The Shadow. Inspired by the last time I had sex. I wanted the female to get gone immediately after the first ejaculation.

The Medusa

Men are men. Women are women. The differences are vast. Men are analytical processors. Women are emotionally driven. Men are motivated by the frivolous. Women are dedicated to nurturing. With all the differences nothing should prevent us from distinguishing who is who and what is what.


Right?

With dating, the man once upon a time was expected to lead the process. This included determining what the date would entail: where, what, and how long depending on how 'dude' would behave. Act like a jerk, and the date would not last more than an hour. Good thing moms and dads always gave daughter taxi money.

Why was the woman given money to 'get out' of the date? The door has always been open for the female to flee if "he cuts a fool". How about when the woman misbehaves or turns out to be a raging Medusa? In my experience men must remain. Steadfast. Enduring. Deal with the gorgon. I never understood this. Men with good intentions have to pretend to be comfortable until the date is over.

I recall one of many dates from hell. I could not wait to bounce. Get gone...but out of long-suffering respect for the disturbed female pit-bull I 'remained'. Imprisoned with rude behavior toward wait staff. Shackled by the cost of this woman's fifth extra dirty Grey Goose martini. I still have the receipt. A memento saved to remind me not to go on a date with a woman who lives in a half a million dollar home ALONE, according to her she recently divorced a “weakling”, drives a Big Boy Mercedes, eats out every single night, lives among mess (junk all over the Haverty’s fully furnished home - one room only used: the bedroom for sleeping, snacking, and masturbating all the time), goes to church every Sunday but returns from mega church service in another sour mood, gets an expensive massage, pedicure, and manicure once a week, brags about her dildo like it is her personal Jesus, has a fitness trainer that gets a last minute cancellation notice from Ms. Thang all the time, stays on her BlackBerry chatting with other women like herself (there are more), and who by the way has no relationship with her cancer ill mother.

But, men are the butt holes?

What this manufactured culture has created are women with a perverse mentality of misguided feminism and shallow individualism: “I don’t need a man.” These women are societal bandits. Bandits, not social revolutionaries. Objectified losers that believe if they suppress their womanhood the world would be easier to live in.

A classic case of going against the grain of what is meant to be: Women are women and men are men.

In the end, which is the present, these females are The Bad News Bears...that never win because they have LOST their momma’s training. Purposely misplaced the delicate fundamentals of being a lady.

They gambled with the role changes of the 21st century, and lost. Not their material items - but what is important:

Respect

Once that is gone no man will come at the female with good intentions...thus the reason male/female relationships are jacked. Leaving women foolishly thinking they can get from a female companion what they can't get from a man. I said, A MAN.

We in trouble...when the woman begins to take on the negative characteristics of a boy! I said, A BOY.

Written by The Shadow. Inspired by The Medusa.