Tainted Man Rules

Rules are Rules. There should not be any deviation from them. If there is a ‘break away’ from the rules one should expect to be reprimanded and/or discarded. –The Unwritten

That is a strict message to not only send – but to comply to predetermined rules where no slack is given for breaking a rule must indicate that the culture that makes up the rules is serious about maintaining an intense level of order. Somewhat reflective of the military.

In the armed forces if one purposely or mistakenly deviates, a life could be lost. All it takes is one soldier to disobey an order or ignore a regulation; and an entire unit can be wiped out by the enemy. That is serious life altering business that affects the whole. The family. The bond.

Rules that pertain to the male culture are selfishly considered honorable e.g. man code-ish. Usually this way of conducting and behaving is in stark contrast to what is necessary to adhere to acceptable morals and values. Not that the male society is totally void of decency. No - that is not what I would like to imply. Nonetheless, the unwritten ‘policies’ are in contradiction of what many fathers convey to their sons. Basically, men with children do not tell their boys to subject themselves to the torching of their souls. As fathers we encourage our children to make the RIGHT decision. Typically, this right decision is without subjectivity. It should be an appropriate decision that falls inline with the natural order i.e. adhering to The Golden Rule. This rule, by the way, if followed could eradicate many issues that pollute the world and the souls of mankind.

Our souls keep a record of all the good and bad we project into the universe. It is a journal where entries cannot be erased. The imprints are written in blood. Literally, in blood because what we bear to our soul is unchangeable. It is sealed, typically with a pain; not a joy. Therefore, what we share with the world after living for awhile is a composition of regrettable decisions. However, these decisions do not become unwanted complexities of our souls until we are ready to face them head-on. With truth. With humility. With full disclosure. Prior to this RIGHT decision we willingly allow the soul of man to be in conflict.

ALL men are fully aware of what I am attempting to convey. Many of us are not prepared to listen to the vehicle I have chosen to reveal the message. That vehicle is the bosom of my “messy” soul. My “pull pit” is where I have waddled for years. Never realizing that the mess that I have created is all I have to address MY behavior. My demons. Demons that are with all of us to some degree, if not, similar demons. So, in all of this I have taken a road that leaves me in the position of being inaccurately accused that ‘My house is in order’. Thus the reason I have purposely fallen victim for years to a man code that has eaten away at the fabric of the family.

Man Rules in all their ridiculous bravado have assisted in the death and destruction of the black family. Not solely responsible – but its damage can be found in the Souls of Black Folk. Look at us…what are we if we do not have respectable honor? And, to voice what has been described as righteous indignation (my opinions):

There is No Honor in Man Rules. Not the ones that do not protect and cherish integrity.

In the final analysis, at the end of the day - all there is a pseudo fraternity of imitation brotherhood that does not push or advocate for personal responsibility.

Written by The Shadow. Re-inspired by a married friend who asked me, “Can I bring my side chick with me when I come to visit you?” My new and improved response: “HELL NO!”

The picture says a lot. But, is it a true declaration for most black people?

The Shadow initiated a conversation to pursue 'Black Love' by asking the following:

What reasons have we (21st century black people), collectively, given men like Tiger Woods to love who/what he is (half black)? Really think about that for a moment. Think about what we have become. Not become...

Self Hatred stems from what we see/experience/witness. In this case, we have been viewing ourselves and definitely turning away without a positive impression...

-The Shadow

Role Reversal

Please watch the video clip. I found it quite interesting and definitely on-point with what The Shadow and the readers have discussed before.

The roles have been haphazardly and purposely distorted.

Traditionalism has its place when the elements are 'together'. The further we stray from what worked the more we fall deeper and deeper into the worldly abyss of relationship conflict. Recall how much we say, 'music was once good.' 'I wish things were like they use to be.' There is something to our longing for what once was, Tradition. I promise you, if I could wave a magic wond and restore the goods of the past I would in a heart beat. i was not made for what we have today...

http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/show/segments/view/real-life-emmad-menem-marriages/

-The Shadow

Sharing was Once Okay

Before we enrolled in kindergarten we should have known the importance of sharing. Right? I recall the numerous pleas my mother made for me to share with my brother and sister: “Brian, you know you are suppose to share.” I also remember how I begrudgingly shared my Salvation Army toys and grandma prepared food with them. It was a much more difficult task for me when moneyless friends surprisingly appeared as the ice cream truck clunkered through the neighborhood hocking expired ice cream. So much for my two Blue Bunny Strawberry Shortcakes! Had to give one to Mookie!

Recently, I mentioned to a friend: “Black women may want to consider sharing the remaining good black men. She may also want to contemplate dating outside her race or not date at all.” I supported my statement with the following information.

*At midyear 2008, there were 4,777 black male inmates per 100,000 U.S. residents being held in state or federal prison and local jails, compared to 1,760 Hispanic male inmates per 100,000 U.S. residents and 727 white male inmates per 100,000 U.S. residents. The rate for black males is expected to climb as it has for years.

*The statistics reveal that less than 1/3 of black males that enroll in college graduate within 6 years and that black women out number black men by a factor of nearly 2:1 in college. 2:1 appears to be a small factor. However, when one considers the imprisonment rate for black men the 2:1 factor becomes considerably significant.

*While African Americans comprise 13.5% of the U.S. Population, 43% of all murder victims in 2007 were African American, 93% of whom were killed by African Americans.

The numbers are not alarming to me at all! For years now, I have been sadly aware that black men are entering Uncle Sam’s and private corporation’s penitentiaries by the numbers, that black men are rare novelties on college campuses, and that black men are slaughtering each other over foolishness e.g. No Snitching Rule.

With this understanding, I have come to the conclusion that black women have some tough decisions to make. Some are already prepared to face reality: “And if by chance I run into the love of my life and he knocks me off my feet, is able to provide for his family, raise and lead our children in a positive direction, and love me with all his might, treats me like the queen that I am, I will not have a problem with the fact that it may not be a brother!!!” –Sherri Rushing

I conclude with a question that immediately prompt my friend to boldly exclaim, “I ain’t sharing no man.”

Really? One, she may be sharing him now – and not know it. Two, she may eat that knee-jerk response sooner rather than later. That’s if she’s unwilling to date outside her race or enjoys going to bed alone for the long term.

Question:

Ladies, are you willing to SHARE a good black man if the circumstances are beneficial to you in some capacity?

-The Shadow

http://touchingtrulytouching.blogspot.com/

Female Emotionalism in the Workplace: Menstruation and Cattiness

Picture taken from the 1939 film, The Women.

Believe it or not, I tip-toe with my commentary. Sometimes I try to think of the receivers of my ‘chatter’ while understanding that what I write may affect someone in a negative way. I pride myself on being convicted, and helping others get to a place of conviction. This is my way of receiving helpful and inspiring messages from readers and my effort to share messages that I have received from countless people. I pray I am effectively recycling opinions and positions well…

In the Shadow Series’ installments I take every step to push the limits. The Shadow can be quite forthright with his perspectives when he is sharing a friend’s story or his own.

With this understanding, The Shadow is Unleashing…again this month.

I will unleash by keeping it really short and blunt as The Shadow can be:

I DO NOT care to work with women any longer. Particularly in a team environment. I am sick and tired of swimming through horrible cramp-filled periods. Wondering which female is bleeding with a d*mn attitude. Wondering who is not PMS’ing three weeks in advance of her cycle. Wondering who I can approach and get a non-emotional response. Wondering who will not stab her female colleague in the back in my presence, and then expect me to go back and tell the other female: ‘Tasha does not like you. Watch out!’ Wondering who will not breakdown in tears just because she has been reprimanded for watching soap operas online at work. Wondering who will not be so d*mn petty that nothing can get resolved. Wondering who can be so d*mn catty that a business meeting does not get started until after 20 minutes of ‘weekend chatter’. Wondering which female will not act like a d*mn female, and get something done! I can go on…and on.

Also, if I had an opportunity to select my very own work team it would be FULL of male athletes. Athletes value successful uninhibited completion. Strict methodology. Unabated reality. Tangible results. And, not useless brainstorming sessions that only serve as ANOTHER impeding barrier and opportunity to talk…again.

I am sick and tired of being consumed by female emotions and high school activities on the job e.g. envy, jealousy, professional vendettas, and gossip. And, if I have to endure another icebreaker with ridiculous outcomes again I am going to do something to get freaking fired!

I ain’t sorry for this one…considering after checking-in with 6 females today who AGREED with my frustrating sentiments: “I wish I did not have to work with women or for a woman.” –Female

This is where I am at this month. I might just be on the RAG.

Written by The Shadow.